Saturday, January 31, 2009

On this day in 1921, Carol Channing was born. She’s associated with the song Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend… Although at times she appeared to be quite chummy with makeup, too.

On this day in 1970, The Grateful Dead were busted for possession of LSD… The remarkable thing was Keith Richards wasn’t!

On this day in 1876, all American First Nations citizens were ordered to move onto reservations… Causing some to later question the phrase in The Star Spangled Banner “land of the free.”

Friday, January 30, 2009

On this day in 1969, The Beatles performed on the roof of Apple Records… It was great news for Beatles fans and pigeons alike… Apparently, they had to wait until Ringo finished dropping water balloons.

On this day in 1882, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was born. As President, he often went to the woods at dawn to watch birds and hear them sing… Somewhat like Al Gore sneaking out to talk to the Rose Garden and hug trees.

On this day in 1961, the birth control pill went on sale in England… Before that, apparently English couples avoided pregnancies with horn-rimmed glasses and curlers.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

On this day in 1978, the use of ozone damaging aerosol sprays was banned in Sweden, which was great for the environment… But it is hard to use a “roll on” pesticide.

On this day in 1900, eight baseball teams were organized as the American League… Last year, Chicago White Sox fans wished their team was organized.

On this day in 1945, Tom Selleck was born… They say his mom went through twice the average number of Q-Tips, using them on his ears… And his dimples.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

On this day in 1950, former Playboy bunny Barbi Benton was born... Ex-bunnies rarely make the switch to fashion models, since they have such limited experience in clothes.

On this day in 1978, Ted Nugent used a Bowie knife to carve his autograph onto a fan’s arm… Causing many parents to feel better about their kid’s tattoos.

On this day in 1956, Elvis made his 1st national TV appearance on The Dorsey Brothers Show. Early broadcasts didn’t show his hips… Later broadcasts had to reformat the screen to show both his hips.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

On this day in 1992, Mike Tyson went on trial for rape… Apparently some jurors who’d never heard him speak before assumed his voice had been electronically altered to protect his identity.

On this day in 1913, US athlete Jim Thorpe lost his Olympic medals after it was revealed he’d received $50 a week to play baseball, making him a pro… To put that into perspective, back when pro baseball players only made $50 a week, there was still meat in ballpark hotdogs.

On this day in 1948, Mikhail Baryshnikov was born… Sadly, as some ballet dancers age, their tights develop “pleats.”

Monday, January 26, 2009

On this day in 1961, Wayne Gretzky was born. His father built him an ice rink in the back yard to practice hockey… Which meant considerably less digging than if he was to practice high diving.

On this day in 1955, Eddie Van Halen was born… When middle aged rock stars play to fans young enough to be their kids… Often some are.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

On this day in 1993, Sears Roebuck & Co. stopped printing catalogs, which meant that if curious boys wanted to see women in undergarments… They had to watch MTV.

On this day in 1947, Al Capone died of syphilis… Somehow the idea of safe sex probably seemed bizarre with an automatic machine gun on the dresser.

On this day in 1949, the 1st Emmy Awards were presented. That was back when nudity wasn’t featured in the programs… Or the award show dresses.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

On this day in 1935, canned beer was sold for the 1st time in Richmond, Virginia… One small step for industrial packaging – One giant leap for tailgate parties.

On this day in 1978, a Russian satellite crashed near Yellowknife… Some say it was the Red Army team scouts trying to pick up transmissions of Hockey Night In Canada.

On this day in 1922, the Eskimo Pie was patented by Christian Nelson of Iowa… If Stephen King wrote a story called Eskimo Pie, chances are it would involve cannibalism.

Friday, January 23, 2009

On this day in 1849, Elizabeth Blackwell became the 1st woman doctor… They say some men had difficulty disrobing for a female physician; others began unbuttoning in the waiting room.

On this day in 1977, Roots premiered on ABC, causing many viewers to search for their roots… And causing many of those to dye them.

On this day in 1943, the Detroit Red Wings scored an NHL record 8 goals in one period… The opposing goalie considered throwing himself in front of a bus, but was afraid it would pass between his legs, too.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Actress Linda Blair was born on this day in 1959… They say when she read the script for The Exorcist, it really turned her head.

On this day in 1968, the comedy show Roman & Martin’s Laugh-In premiered. President Richard Nixon would appear on an episode with the scripted line “Sock it to me?”… President George W improvised most of his comedic lines.

On this day in 1987, a record flight of 37.2 miles was set over Edwards Air Force Base by a pedaled ultra light aircraft… You can get the same experience on an exercise bike while operating a Microsoft Flight Simulator.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

On this day in 1971, All In The Family aired for the 1st time. That was back when Carol O-Connor had only one successful TV series… And Sally Struthers had only one chin.

On this day in 1924, Telly Savalas was born. He played “Kojac”, a TV cop who exposed almost as much skin as the cops on “NYPD Blue”… Only Telly just removed his hat.

On this day in 1990, John McEnroe became the 1st tennis player to be expelled from the Australian Open for throwing a tantrum… Some thought when he retired from tennis, he’d go to the WWF.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

On this day in 1981, Ronald Reagan became the oldest President of the US, yet he called his wife “mommy”… Rumour had it that President Clinton called his wife “sir.”

On this day in 1930, Buzz Aldrin was born. He was the 2nd man to set foot on the moon. Neil Armstrong said “That’s one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind”… Apparently Buzz said “Yeah, what he said.”

On this day in 1952 Paul Stanley of KISS was born… It’s rumoured in his career, he used more makeup than any other man… Except maybe Ronald McDonald and Dick Clark.

Monday, January 19, 2009

On this day in 1946, Dolly Parton was born… Many establishments would like to honour Dolly by displaying a bust of the singing star… They just don’t have room.

On this day in 1943, Janis Joplin was born… To appreciate her 1st cries after delivery, just imagine Joe Cocker on helium.

On this day in 1961, The Dick Van Dyke Show began filming. TV censors insisted the married couple Rob and Laura sleep in twin beds… Some say if Grey’s Anatomy was in production back then, they would have needed more writers.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

On this day in 1911, an aircraft landed on a ship’s deck for the 1st time… Think about that, and suddenly parallel parking doesn’t seem so tough.

On this day in 1778, James Cook discovered Hawaii… He probably didn’t return home with T-shirts for his children that said “My Dad Discovered Hawaii, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt!”

On this day in 1644, America’s 1st UFO sighting was recorded by pilgrims in Boston… It was a shocking image – Those black puritan outfits and powdered wigs were quite scary.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

On this day in 1934, puppeteer Shari Lewis was born. She made a career of talking to inanimate objects… Some say she’d have been a natural to interview Al Gore.

On this day in 1899, Al Capone was born… They say when Al bought a new car, he was concerned about head and leg room… In the trunk.

On this day in 1928, Vidal Sassoon was born. He helped people to conserve shampoo… By charging $27.95 for 6 ounces.

Friday, January 16, 2009

On this day in 1950, choreographer Debbie Allen was born. Her choreography influence can be seen at Super Bowl XXXV… Not so much with the cheerleaders, as the receivers after a touchdown.

On this day in 1979, Cher filed for divorce just 9 days after marrying Greg Allman… It was sad, because she’d given him some of the best hours of her life.

On this day in 1905, baseball outfielder Frank Huelsman was traded for the 6th time in 8 months… Most baseball cards aren’t traded that often.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

On this day in 1943, The Pentagon was completed… If you work there, because of its shape you’re 20 % more likely to get a corner office.

On this day in 1974, Happy Days premiered. Back then, saying the phrase “sit on it” was considered racy by some… Today cable channels show people “sitting on it.”

On this day in 1880, the 1st phone directory was published in London… Some say critics panned it, saying “There were too many characters.”

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

On this day in 1954, sex symbol Marilyn Monroe married ex-slugger Joe DiMaggio… Since then, no baseball player’s ever had a more attractive retirement package.

On this day in 1938, Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs was released… Tabloids called the complex relationship a “love octagon.”

On this day in 1914, Henry Ford introduced the assembly line for making cars… Some say Liz Taylor used it a few decades later for marriage.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

On this day in 1964, The Beatles’ 1st single was released in the US – I Wanna Hold Your Hand… When many parents of the day saw the Fab Four, they were thinking “I wanna cut your hair.”

On this day in 1934, openly gay comedian Rip Taylor was born… For those not familiar with him, just picture Richard Simmons’ fairy godmother.

On this day in 1854, Anthony Foss patented the accordion… Early music critics described it as “bagpipes in whisper mode.”

Monday, January 12, 2009

On this day in 1906, comedian Henny Youngman was born. He’s famous for the line “Take my wife, please”…. Which was later developed into the film with Demi Moore and Robert Redford called Indecent Proposal.

On this day in 1935, mind reader The Amazing Kreskin was born… He could work at McDonald’s and not have to ask if you’d like fries with that.

On this day in 1970, the 1st trans-Atlantic flight of the Boeing 747 landed at Heathrow airport. It had flotation devices aboard… For your best shot at flotation, skip the in-flight meal.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

On this day in 1892, the 44-year-old painter Paul Gauguin married a 13-year-old Tahitian girl… He was sort of the Jerry Lee Lewis of the art world.

On this day in 1974, the 1st surviving sextuplets were born in South Africa… Technically in most species, that would be considered a “litter.”

On this day in 1977, Keith Richards was tried for possession of cocaine found in his car after an accident… There’s no truth to the rumour that Keith had been trying to snort the white line.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

On this day in 1949, vinyl records were launched: 45 RPM discs by RCA and 33 RPM records by Columbia… Some say a Barry White LP played at 45 sounds like Lionel Ritchie, a Lionel Ritchie LP played at 45 sounds like Michael Jackson, and a Michael Jackson LP played at 45 can only be heard by dogs.

On this day in 1945, Rod Stewart was born. In concert, he looks like he has pillow hair and he sounds like he just woke up… Most concerts start around 8 PM and he’s a rock star, so he probably did just wake up.

On this day in 1953, Indy 500 winner Bobby Rahal was born… The biggest adjustment for an Indy champ driving on the streets is to have patience at full service gas stations.

Friday, January 9, 2009

On this day in 1914, stripper Gypsy Lee Rose was born. She was no businesswoman… But they say she was a real “mover and shaker.”

On this day in 1951, country singer Crystal Gayle was born… Because it’s her birthday, the bus tour of her hair has been canceled for today.

On this day in 1913, Richard Nixon was born. There was a book about him called All The President’s Men… There was a less popular book about Bill Clinton called All The President’s Menus.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

On this day in 1992, President Bush vomited during a tour of Japan, which was embarrassing… But it wasn’t like he misspelled “potato.”

Today… Elvis turns 74!

On this day in 1940 because of World War II, Britain began rationing bacon, butter and sugar… This may be why Dame Edna’s legs remained so slender.