Saturday, February 28, 2009

On this day in 1983, the last episode of M*A*S*H aired… Some say its depiction of express line surgery in the Korean War was too much like our healthcare service.

On this day in 1966, The Cavern Club in Liverpool closed. That was where The Beatles 1st performed… Fans blame Yoko for that, too.

On this day in 1939, dancer/choreographer Tommy Tune was born. He is 6’ 6 ½ ” tall… Although there’s no truth to the rumour that he won the CN Tower Look-Alike Contest.

Friday, February 27, 2009

On this day in 1807, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was born… They say when his mom stitched his name into his T-shirts for summer camp, she had to start around Valentine’s Day.

On this day in 1980, Michael Jackson received his 1st Grammy… Coincidentally, back then he still had his 1st nose.

On this day in 1991, the Gulf War ended… And CNN had to find another story.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

On this day in 1932, Johnny Cash was born… Apparently he was easy to spot in the nursery, because he was the only baby in a black diaper.

On this day in 1936, Hitler opened the Volkswagen factory… Who would have guessed that Hitler was in any way responsible for The Love Bug?

On this day in 1928, Fats Domino was born. He became famous singing “I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill”… We suspect he’d been impressed a few times at IHOP, too.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

On this day in 1940, the 1st NHL game was televised between the Rangers and the Canadiens… The main challenge was presenting all that swearing and bloodshed as family viewing.

On this day in 1913, federal income taxation was started in the US… Back then a dollar went further, but the trick was getting it past Washington.

On this day in 1908, the 1st tunnel connecting New York to New Jersey opened… New Yorkers were of the opinion “there goes the neighbourhood."

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

On this day in 1989, Margaret Ray was found in David Letterman’s home, claiming to be his wife… It seems she had an entirely different concept of “Late Night With David Letterman.”

On this day in 1987, Larry King suffered a heart attack, but he bounced back successfully… Possibly from all the experience of bouncing back from divorces.

On this day in 1988, the Supreme Court voted that Jerry Falwell couldn’t collect from Hustler magazine for a parody of him… They say that Jerry was so upset, he cancelled his subscription.

Monday, February 23, 2009

On this day in 1985, Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight threw a chair during a game… This may be why hockey players sit on benches, attached to the floor.

On this day in 1944, blues guitarist Johnny Winter was born. He has albino features… Back in the 90s, if you took a photo of Alanis Morissette, Johnny would resemble the negative.

On this day in 1940, Peter Fonda was born… They say his sister’s ex, Ted Turner used to give Peter free cable for his birthday.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

On this day in 1819, Spain ceded Florida to the US… Without Florida as a state, they say the only significant retirement facility in the US would be Congress.

On this day in 1940, a 5-year-old became the Dalai Lama in Tibet… It must have been tough suggesting to the Dalai Lama that he’d had “enough cookies for now.”

On this day in 1732, George Washington was born. He’s remembered as “the father of his country”… George W will probably be remembered as “the father of rowdy twins.”

Saturday, February 21, 2009

On this day in 1431, the trial of Joan of Arc began. She was burned at the stake… They say this is why Shirley MacLaine is afraid of hibachis.

On this day in 1986, the world’s oldest man died in Japan at the age of 120… But his friends said that he didn’t look a day over 110.

On this day in 1952, Liz Taylor married for the 2nd time… Apparently, the pastor began the ceremony by saying “Now serving number 2.”

Friday, February 20, 2009

Today former NBA star Charles Barkley turns 45… Some say that’s also his shoe size.

On this day in 1934, former Indy 500 star Bobby Unser was born… If Bobby still raced today, he may be inclined to leave his turn signal on.

On this day in 1924, Gloria Vanderbilt was born… Some say she was so rich, before she opened her purse, there was a drum roll.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

On this day in 1878, Thomas Edison patented the phonograph… Today the only significant use of vinyl in the recording industry involves Britney Spears’ jumpsuit.

On this day in 1906, William Kellogg started selling breakfast cereals originally developed as health food for psychiatric patients… Some thought they’d be further confused by food that went “Snap, crackle and pop.”

On this day in 1934, Bob and Dolores Hope were married… A comedian’s wedding night is the one time he doesn’t want to get a laugh.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

On this day in 1965, Frank Gifford announced he’d retire from the NFL to broadcast… When Kathie Lee found out about Suzen Johnson, she almost retired Frank’s jersey with him in it.

On this day in 1957, Wheel of Fortune personality Vanna White was born… Some say a talking Vanna White doll that only said “Goodnight, everybody” would have been very lifelike.

Today John Travolta turns 54. He’s extremely popular… Except possibly with the other less successful actors who starred with him on Welcome Back, Kotter.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

On this day in 1963, Michael Jordon was born… They say Michael was so tall as a child, his mom had his growth chart on the outside of their house.

On this day in 1864, a Confederate submarine became the 1st to sink a ship with a torpedo, but the explosion was so great that the sub was destroyed, too… Remember, this was a century before Super Dave Osborne.

On this day in 1970, Joni Mitchell announced her retirement from live performances. She returned to the stage within a year... Some say this is where The Who got the idea for their annual farewell tours.

Monday, February 16, 2009

On this day in 1923, archaeologists opened King Tut’s tomb… There’s a rumoured tell-all book about it entitled Mummy Dearest.

On this day in 1935, Sonny Bono was born… How for back does his legacy in entertainment history extend?... He dated Cher before she had tattoos!

On this day in 1959, tennis star John McEnroe was born… Some say it’s hard to imagine his crying and whining in his crib being as bad as his behaviour on the court.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

On this day in 1797, Henry Steinway was born. He perfected the grand piano… Fortunately, he didn’t live long enough to see Jerry Lee Lewis play it with his feet.

On this day in 2002, the movie Crossroads, starring Britney Spears, opened in theatres… This was back before her life became a “permanent spring break.”

On this day in 1992, The Ivory Coast village of Krinjabo named Michael Jackson "King of the Sanwis"… They say the challenging part of that was learning to moonwalk on a red carpet.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

On this day in 1822, Britain had to hire extra mail sorters to handle all the Valentines… In her single years, Madonna just hired a skywriter.

On this day in 1913, Jimmy Hoffa was born. He was the Teamster’s Union president… Some say he left that position for one in construction… Concrete, to be exact.

On this day in 1894, Jack Benny was born. His image was that he was very thrifty… Some say he had a coin-operated bird feeder.

Friday, February 13, 2009

On this day in 1960, France tested its 1st atomic bomb in the Sahara; the country that idolized Jerry Lewis had space-age weapons… Suddenly, the Soviets didn’t seem so scary.

On this day in 1990, Buster Douglas became the new World Heavyweight Champion by knocking out Mike Tyson in Tokyo, drawing much attention to himself… Particularly from NHL scouts.

On this day in 1969, human eggs were fertilized in a test tube for the first time… Further complicating subsequent discussions of the “birds and the bees.”

Thursday, February 12, 2009

On this day in 1912, China’s Qing dynasty ended and five-year-old Emperor Pu Yi lost his power… Most kids at that age are only losing their socks.

On this day in 1850, Washington’s original Farewell Address manuscript sold for $2,300… Democrats would have considered that a bargain for President Bush’s farewell.

On this day in 1809, Charles Darwin was born. He explained how life evolved over the millennia… Perhaps he could have enlightened us regarding Amy Winehouse’s tattoos?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

On this day in 1847, Thomas Edison was born… Without his invention of the light bulb, we’d have to feel our way around the back of the fridge.

On this day in 1936, Burt Reynolds was born… He still has a fairly active lifestyle… Including his indoor/outdoor toupee.

On this day in 1990, the good news was that Nelson Mandela was freed after 26 years in jail… The bad news was that he apparently owed the Book-Of-The-Month club a fortune.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

On this day in 1840, Queen Victoria married her first cousin, Prince Albert… By the way, that’s the only thing that Queen Victoria had in common with Jerry Lee Lewis.

On this day in 1942, RCA presented the 1st gold record to Glenn Miller for Chattanooga Choo ChooSome Tennesseans felt that would be a great name for a smokeless tobacco product.

On this day in 1950, Senator McCarthy started the investigation into subversive activities, announcing he had a list of “known Communists”… Parents explained to their children that he was “making a list, and checking it twice.”

Monday, February 9, 2009

On this day in 1945, Mia Farrow was born. She was married to Frank Sinatra… Apparently when asked why the toilet seat was down, Frank said “I did it my way.”

On this day in 1964, The Beatles 1st appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show If Yoko Ono had adopted Topo Gigo, his name could have been Topo Ono.

On this day in 1985, Madonna’s Like A Virgin album went #1… Some thought it should have been stocked in the “fiction” section.

Sunday February 8, 2009

On this day in 1940, Nightline anchorman Ted Koppel was born… And that was the last time that his hair was messed up.

On this day in 1965, cigarette ads were banned from British TV… It was just as well because “I’d walk a mile for a camel” didn’t translate well to “I’d walk 1.6093 kilometers for a camel.”

On this day in 1587, Mary, Queen of Scots was beheaded for plotting to assassinate Queen Elizabeth I… Some that say if the Queen still beheaded people, Fergie would have no more bad hair days.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

On this day in 1962, country singer Garth Brooks was born. He’s one of the few country artists who smashed guitars onstage… Although once Wynonna accidentally sat on one backstage.

On this day in 1940, Disney’s Pinocchio was released. It’s a story about a boy made from wood… It’s rumoured a more recent version has Geppetto making him a companion named “Tipper.”

On this day in 1964, 25,000 expectant fans in New York welcomed The Beatles to Kennedy Airport… And apparently 12 unsuspecting fans in L.A. welcomed their luggage to LAX.

Friday, February 6, 2009

This is the calendar date on which Zsa Zsa Gabor was born… Basically, the other dates are the ones that she was married on.

On this day in 1968, former President Eisenhower shot a hole-in-one… When President Ford shot a hole-in-one, it involved a spectator.

On this day in 1917, British women over 30 got the vote… The only downside was admitting their age.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

On this day in 1861, the peep show machine was patented by Sam Goodale of Cincinnati… Some say it was the predecessor of cable TV.

On this day in 1921, The New York Yankees purchased 20 acres in the Bronx for Yankee Stadium… Making it one of the few urban areas that are still inhabited by animals.

On this day in 1934, Atlanta Braves legend Hank Aaron was born… He was so exciting to watch, even Jane Fonda would have stayed awake.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Alice Cooper was born on this day in 1948. Early in his career, he sang onstage with a snake… Coincidentally, they say in her biography Tina Turner claims the same thing.

On this day in 1987, Liberace died… It was rumoured that his burial was complicated by an extension cord running to his jacket.

On this day in 1974, Patricia Hearst was kidnapped, but she was well treated by her kidnappers… They even gave her one of the nicest guns.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

On this day in 1959, Buddy Holly’s plane went down, making it known as “The day the music died”… Not to be confused with a possible reunion with New Kids On The Block.

On this day in 1913, the 16th Amendment of the US Constitution established income tax… Not to be confused with the other date when The Red Cross started asking for blood.

On this day in 1904, Charlie “Pretty Boy” Floyd was born… No relation to George Clooney.

Monday, February 2, 2009

On this day in 1947, Farrah Fawcett was born… Back in the 70s, she was the actress with the bionic hair.

On this day in 1848, the 1st shipload of immigrants from China arrived in San Francisco… They say that was America’s 1st delivery of Chinese.

On this day in 1979, punk singer Sid Vicious died… Punkers of the era proudly used pins for self-mutilation, although corsage pins for the prom didn’t count.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

On this day in 1893, Thomas Edison opened the 1st film studio… To put that into perspective, that was before any of the Rocky movies.

On this day in 1958, the 1st US satellite was launched… One small step for man, one giant leap for Monday Night Football.

On this day in 1968, Lisa Marie Presley was born. Her father shot TVs; her ex was Michael Jackson, who tried to buy the Elephant Man’s remains… Suddenly a cousin who read TV Guide to her cat doesn’t seem so strange.