Sunday, May 31, 2009

On this day in 1678, Lady Godiva rode naked to protest taxes… That’s a lobbying strategy that just might have worked with the Clinton administration.

On this day in 1969, John Lennon and Yoko Ono recorded “Give Peace a Chance”… Apparently the next day the Boston Bruins boycotted Beatle records.

On this day in 1889, a dam broke after heavy rains and flooded Johnstown, PA… They say that helped to coin the phrase “sunken living room.”

Saturday, May 30, 2009

On this day in 1431, Joan of Arc was burned at the stake at the age of 19… Suddenly, being grounded doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

On this day in 1971, 36 were hospitalized during a Grateful Dead concert after they drank LSD in apple juice… After that, Deadheads tried growing apple trees in their closets.

Friday, May 29, 2009

On this day in 1912, 15 girls were fired by Curtis Publishing for dancing the “Turkey Trot” during their lunch break… Basically, they were just Pussycat Dolls ahead of their time.

On this day in 1956, Latoya Jackson was born… As a singer, she’s best known for her photos in Playboy.

On this day in 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tensing Norkay became the first people to reach the summit of Mt. Everest, the highest peak on earth… Wouldn’t it be sad if the only tapes they packed were environmental sounds?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

On this day in 1934, Canada’s Dionne quintuplets were born – Five babes of the British Commonwealth… Not to be confused with The Spice Girls, although some say their IQs were similar.

This evening in 1946 marked the 1st night game at Yankee Stadium. It was an excellent turnout…
Red Sox fans thought that was because many Yankee fans are repelled by sunlight.

Jim Thorpe was born on this day in 1886. His Olympic gold medals were taken away when it was discovered that he’d played semiprofessional baseball a few years earlier… For an example of semiprofessional baseball, refer to the 1962 New York Mets who won 40 games and lost 120.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

On this day in 1911, Vincent Price was born. His demonic laughter is on the Michael Jackson Thriller album… Michael doesn’t play that one at home because it scares kids.

On this day in 1961, President Kennedy announced the US goal to reach the moon… Although President Clinton is most impressed by his achievements reaching beyond third base.

On this day in 1981, John Hinckley attempted suicide by overdosing on Tylenol… That sounds just slightly more dangerous than aiming for a wall in a bumper car.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

On this day in 1946, a US patent was filed for the H-Bomb... The US didn't want other countries building heavy weapons, but they could buy them.

On this day in 1969, John and Yoko began their 2nd bed-in at the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in Montreal... On the other hand, Ringo slept in all the time; he just didn't invite reporters.

Monday, May 25, 2009

On this day in 1927, Henry Ford stopped producing the Model T, and began offering the model A... On the other hand, Hugh Hefner has always showcased model's T & A.

On this day in 1967, John Lennon took delivery of his psychedelic Rolls Royce... If you're ever a famous rock star in a psychedelic Rolls Royce, but you don't want attention, make sure to have the windows tinted.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

On this day in 1938, Tommy Chong was born. He was half of "Cheech & Chong"... They were a comedy duo who took school trips by smoking their leaf collection.

On this day in 1941, Bob Dylan was born. Some say when he performs, he has a TelePrompter showing lyrics... To the audience.

On this day in 1899, the 1st auto repair shop opened in Boston... Some horse doctors probably diversified into auto mechanics. By the way, never try to work on a horse unless it's in "PARK."

Saturday, May 23, 2009

On this day in 1430, Joan of Arc was captured. She entered the army dressed like a man… This was centuries before the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

On this day in 1934, Bonnie and Clyde were killed by 50 bullets from a police ambush… In this case, there is definitely no “lone gunman” theory.

On this day in 1933, actress Joan Collins was born. She reportedly had many affairs in real life… Theoretically, this would support her role of Alexis on Dynasty, as she employed “method” acting.

Friday, May 22, 2009

On this day in 1908, the Wright Brothers patented their flying machine. Life would be different without it… They say even Hari Krishnas would be hanging out at train stations, instead.

On this day in 1868, the Reno gang stole $98,000 in the “Great Train Robbery”… Not to be confused with campaign whistle stops, where politicians grab money.

On this day in 1972, President Nixon visited Moscow to discuss arms limitations with Soviet President Brezhnev… The same year, Canada did its part by defeating the Soviets in hockey at the 1972 Summit Series.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

On this day in 1979, Elton John became the 1st western rock star to play in the USSR… It would have been embarrassing if the lineup for concert tickets wasn’t as long as the lineup for toilet paper.

On this day in 1904, jazz pianist Fats Waller was born. He’s famous for the song I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A LetterThese days a more likely title may be I’m Gonna Keep Walking And Text Myself A Message.

On this day in 1979, Joe Clark became Canada’s youngest Prime Minister… Some say he wasn’t charismatic, but of all the Canadian Prime Ministers, Joe Clark was one of them.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

On this day in 1945, Cher was born… They say just a few years ago, she received some attention from youngsters trying to “find Waldo” in her tattoos.

On this day in 1944, Joe Cocker was born… Apparently it was hard to tell when Joe said his 1st words, because his voice was similar to the family bulldog’s.

On this day in 1927, Charles Lindbergh departed from New York City on the 1st solo flight across the Atlantic Ocean… Needless to say, he had a window seat.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

On this day in 1945, rock guitar hero Pete Townshend was born. He became famous for smashing his guitars at the end of songs… In the 70s, the older generation would have preferred he smash them before playing the songs.

On this day in 1964, the US complained about microphones concealed in its Moscow embassy… Back then, spotting hidden mikes was easier… If there was a cable running out of a fruit basket, you just made small talk.

On this day in 1935, Lawrence of Arabia died… They say to his close acquaintances, he was known as “Larry of Araby.”

Monday, May 18, 2009

On this day in 1860, Abraham Lincoln was nominated for presidential candidate at the Republican convention in Chicago… Some say it was Bob Dole’s 1st political disappointment.

On this day in 1980, Mt. St. Helens erupted. Southern Washingtonians became concerned about the location of the ashes… While most southern Californians were merely concerned about locating their lighters.

On this day in 1642, the 1st permanent settlement at Montreal was established… To imagine the uncivilized nature of the time, we can refer to the last time the Canadiens won an NHL playoff round.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

On this day in 1945, boxing champ sugar Ray Leonard was born… Chances are, someone who grew up with “sugar” in his name didn’t have to look far for sparring partners.

On this day in 1969, a Dublin man rowed from Newfoundland to Ireland, becoming the 1st to cross the Atlantic in a rowboat… Talk about being homesick.

On this day in 1936, Dennis Hopper was born. His character in Easy Rider was inclined to substance abuse… He seems to have remained in character for several years.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

On this day in 1919, the flamboyant pianist Liberace was born… They say he was the only baby in the nursery with sequins on his diapers.

On this day in 1990, Jim Henson died. His creations include the animation of famous characters such as Kermit, Miss Piggy, Bert & Ernie, Cookie Monster and Big Bird… Although he had nothing to do with Al Gore.

On this day in 1990, a Van Gogh painting sold for a record $82.5 million… There were no wallet-sized images included – If you can afford that much for a painting, the canvas itself will probably fit in your wallet.

Friday, May 15, 2009

On this day in 1940, the 1st nylon stockings were sold in the US… They’re acceptable in all social settings, except over the head while withdrawing from a bank.

On this day in 1946, President Truman extended a credit of $3.75 billion for Britain… They say the Queen could have helped financially, but she didn’t have her purse with her.

On this day in 1862, Brooklyn opened the Union Grounds, the 1st sports field dedicated exclusively to baseball… Until the baseball fans showed up – Then there was also wrestling and kick-boxing.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

On this day in 1944, Academy Award winning director George Lucas was born… It’s rumoured that after Michael Jackson saw the updated special effects of Star Wars, he wanted to speak to George about a new nose.

On this day in 1878, the trademark for Vaseline was registered… Who knows? – Without it, Jerry Lewis may have looked like Lyle Lovett.

On this day in 1686, Gabriel Fahrenheit, inventor of the mercury thermometer was born… By the way, the Surgeon General recommends that stirring your tea with your thermometer may result in inaccurate readings.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

On this day in 1950 singer/songwriter superstar Stevie Wonder was born Steveland Judkins Morris. At 13 he became a recording artist and changed his name… Some say he had to, because it wouldn’t fit on a 45 RPM record.

On this day in 1914, boxer Joe Louis was born. A sports arena in Detroit bears his name, and fittingly… The National Hockey League plays there.

On this day in 1955, Sun Records of Memphis signed Johnny Cash. He had a big hit with A Boy Named SueIn the 80s, Culture Club had a big hit with a boy named “George.”

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

On this day in 1937, George Carlin was born. He starred in Bill And Ted’s Excellent AdventureThe movie, not the Clinton/Kennedy meeting at Hooter’s.

On this day in 1971, Mick Jagger married Bianca… They say Rolling Stones fans were just delighted that he wasn’t marrying Yoko.

On this day in 1925, baseball great Yogi Berra was born. He said things like “It ain’t over till it’s over” and “You can observe a lot just by watching”… He could have been one of George W’s speech writers.

Monday, May 11, 2009

On this day in 1981, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical Cats opened… They say the cast’s opening night anxiety was so bad, they were coughing up hairballs.

On this day in 1904, artist Salvador Dali was born. Some of his paintings depict melting watches… Which usually never happens unless they’re bought from shady street vendors.

On this day in 1957, Buddy Holly and the Crickets auditioned for Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts and were rejected… The good news for Buddy was that Simon Cowell hadn’t been born yet.

Friday, May 8, 2009

On this day in 1940, Peter Benchley was born. He wrote the book JawsBy the way, you’re really an animal lover if you cried at the end when the shark died.

On this day in 1429, Joan of Arc defeated the English. She was eventually burned at the stake… Some say that’s why Shirley MacLaine isn’t partial to barbecues.

On this day in 1846, the US declared war on Mexico. Canada supported the US… Canada’s position was “America, we’re right behind you.”

Thursday, May 7, 2009

On this day in 1919, Eva Duarte was born. In Evita, Madonna portrayed Eva and sang Don’t Cry For Me Argentina… Coincidentally, it was suggested that while researching the role, Madonna dated Argentina.

On this day in 1988, the 1st meeting of people claiming to have been abducted by aliens was held in Boston… Many questioned the intelligence of aliens who’d release hostages just so they could attend a meeting.

On this day in 1840, Peter Tchaikovsky was born. When he married, his bride realized he was gay, but thought she could change him… It was the 1st “don’t ask, don’t tell” marriage on record.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

On this day in 1856, Sigmund Freud was born. He claimed that adult problems were the result of difficult childhoods… And he was probably familiar with a difficult childhood, being named Sigmund.

On this day in 1895, the film star Rudolph Valentino was born... He was so attractive, ushers had to tell female movie-goers to take their lips off the screen.

On this day in 1994, The Chunnel officially opened, referring to the tunnel under the English Channel linking England and France... Many English folks were surprised when France didn’t surrender.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

On this day in 1904, Cy Young pitched modern baseball’s 1st perfect game. A perfect MLB game means no hits, no walks… And lately, no arrests.

On this day in 1976, Sage Moonblood Stallone, son of Sylvester was born… If they were musical, they could be Sly & The Family Stallone.

On this day in 1961, Alan Shepherd became the 1st U.S. astronaut to enter space… They say the 1st time he woke up in space, he scared himself with “zero-gravity pillow hair.”

Monday, May 4, 2009

On this day in 1987, live models were used for the first time in Playtex bra ads… It’s rumoured that the idea was inspired by Madonna’s album covers.

On this day in 1942, the United States began food rationing... Basically, it was the opposite effect of the film Supersize Me.

On this day in 1626, Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan Island. Native Americans later sold the island for $24 in cloth and buttons… Today you can’t buy anything made from cloth and buttons in Manhattan for just $24.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

On this day in 1808, a duel was fought over Paris from two hot-air balloons… Not to be confused with the Clinton-Obama debates.

On this day in 1936, Engelbert Humperdinck was born. He rose to fame as a pop singer… During an era when some DJs couldn’t even say “Humperdinck” on the air.

On this day in 1969, Jimi Hendrix was arrested at Toronto airport for possession of narcotics… Some say it was Jimi’s only noticeable influence by Keith Richards.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

On this day in 1980, Pink Floyd’s Another Brick In The Wall was banned by the South African government… Coincidentally, it’s also Bob Villa’s favourite Karaoke song.

On this day in 1903, child care specialist Dr. Benjamin Spock was born… He was the one with the normal ears.

On this day in 1972, J. Edgar Hoover died. The FBI dealt with skeletons in his closet… And reportedly, a few silk teddies, too.

Friday, May 1, 2009

On this day in 1967, Elvis Presley married Priscilla… Invited guests claimed it was the 1st time they’d ever had wedding cake with gravy.

On this day in 1931, the Empire State Building was completed. In the movie, King Kong, it took fighter planes to get him off of it… Today, he could probably be lured off with a Nike contract.

On this day in 2000, the "Barbie for President" doll was released in stores… Some Republicans feel that this foreshadowed Hillary’s campaign.