Tuesday, June 30, 2009

On this day in 1984, Pierre Trudeau retired as Canada’s PM and became a normal citizen… Well, as normal as possible when you have Mounties doing your yardwork.

On this day in 1952, the soap opera The Guiding Light moved from radio to TV… Back then, there wasn’t even nudity on radio.

On this day in 1859, French acrobat Charles Blondin crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope… It’s rumoured that he forgot his passport, and customs officials made him go back and get it.

Monday, June 29, 2009

On this day in 1944, Gary Busey was born. He nearly died in a motorcycle accident in 1988. Now he wears a helmet… Helmet hair is better than asphalt hair.

On this day in 1967, Keith Richards was sentenced to 1 year in jail on a drug charge… Some say he wouldn’t be traumatized by a jail term because he wouldn’t remember it.

Sunday, June 28. 2009

On this day in 1491, King Henry VIII was born. He was married six times… He was sort of a medieval Liz Taylor.

On this day in 1973, a lawsuit in Detroit challenged the Little League’s “no girls” rule… Most baseball players have to wait till they’re in the big leagues for their first law suit.

On this day in 19975, Lee Trevino was struck by lightning at the Western Open… That’s just a little more unsettling than playing against Tiger Woods.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

On this day in 1930, billionaire Ross Perot was born… Some say his mother thought she was carrying triplets, but it turned out to be just Ross and his ears… His friends and family will send birthday cards, while Republicans and Democrats will send restraining orders.

On this day in 1994, Anna Nicole Smith married billionaire J. Howard Marshall… For many people, this event complicated the theory that “Money can’t buy happiness.”

Friday, June 26, 2009

On this day in 1963, President Kennedy visited west Berlin, declaring “Ich bin ein Berliner”… Around the same time, a young Bill Clinton started using the foreign phrase “Botta-bing, botta-boom.”

On this day in 1876, Sitting Bull won the Battle of the Little Bighorn, and then went to Canada… If it happened more recently, instead of Canada, he’d probably go to Disneyworld.

This day in 1974 marked Liz Taylor’s 5th divorce… Some say that Liz’s lawyer was one of the few to offer divorces in six packs.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

On this day in 1993, Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts were married… Some say that the producer’s of That’s Incredible considered a 2-hour special for the ceremony.

On this day in 1961, Iraq announced that Kuwait was a part of Iraq. Kuwait disagreed… This may sound familiar to Quebec separatists.

On this day in 1630, the fork was introduced to American dining by Governor Winthrop… Suddenly, spaghetti wasn’t “finger food” anymore.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

On this day in 1986, Raquel Welch won a $10.8 million verdict against MGM for firing her from Cannery Row… Usually, when Raquel Welch’s figure was disclosed, it had nothing to do with money.

On this day in 1947, Peter Weller was born. He played RobocopWhen Robocop’s doctor gave him a prescription, he filled it at Radio Shack.

On this day in 1967, Pope Paul VI endorsed celibacy for priests… If that changed, just what kind of entertainment would be appropriate for a priest’s bachelor party?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

On this day in 1929, June Carter Cash was born… The easiest thing about being Johnny Cash’s wife was the laundry – No colours, no whites… Just black.

On this day in 1868, the typewriter was patented… It’s not used much these days, because it doesn’t have a mouse.

On this day in 1503, the expedition led by Christopher Columbus ran into trouble near Jamaica. Early navigators fought scurvy by eating citrus fruits, which took up cargo space… This was centuries before Tang flavour crystals.

Monday, June 22, 2009

On this day in 1949, Lindsay Wagner was born. She played the “Bionic Woman”… She had “girl power” decades before The Spice Girls.

On this day in 1949, Meryl Streep was born… She has more accents than 7-11.

On this day in 1947, the doughnut was created… Insuring that Homer Simpson would have a rich fantasy life.

On this day in 1988, Canada ratified the Meech Lake accord, recognizing Quebec as a distinct society. The rest of Canada likes the Quebec community… The distinct society most Canadians have trouble with is Ottawa’s political community.

Friday, June 19, 2009

On this day in 1967, Paul McCartney admitted on TV that he took LSD… Keith Richards offered to go on the same show, but producers felt his admission wasn’t newsworthy.

On this day in 1902, band leader Guy Lombardo was born. He popularized the New Year’s Eve classic “Auld Lang Syne”… A major concern about playing horn in his band was getting confetti caught in your spit valve.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

On this day in 1942, Paul McCartney was born. One of his major life accomplishments is that he wrote a symphony… One of Ringo’s major life accomplishments is that he went to a symphony… Paul’s biggest fear today is that Yoko will sing “Happy Birthday” to him.

On this day in 1812, the US declared war on Britain… And from force of habit, France surrendered.

On this day in 1928, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic… Someone’s officially politically incorrect if they assume she was a stewardess.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On this day in 1885, the Statue of Liberty arrived in NYC aboard the French ship IsereSome of the romance from that era is lost, as phrases like “Give me your tired, your huddled masses” pop up in liposuction ads.

On this day in 1876, troops in what is now Montana were fought off by the Sioux chief Crazy Horse… No to be confused with Mad Cow, or Snoop Dog…

On this day in 1988, Bruce Springsteen separated from Juliette Philips… Somehow, saying “I have all your albums” is more flattering before you’ve separated from that person.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

On this day in 1963, the Soviets launched the 1st woman in space… They chose a woman, because they were afraid if a man became lost in space, he wouldn’t ask for directions.

On this day in 1972, burglars were caught breaking into the Watergate building… They too, said “We are not crooks” and it didn’t work for them, either.

On this day in 1967, 50,000 attended the Monterey International Pop FestivalDeadheads remember it as if it were yesterday although technically, it’s a flashback.

Monday, June 15, 2009

On this day in 1928, King Kong actress Fay Wray married John Saunders… Some say after working with the ape, she disliked hairy backs.

Xavier Hollander was born on this day in 1943. She was “The Happy Hooker”… Her family was quite concerned, because for a while she considered becoming a lawyer.

On this day in 1956, 15-year-old John Lennon met 13-year-old Paul McCartney for the 1st time as Lennon’s group The Quarrymen performed at a church dinner… Somewhere, Yoko was probably breaking up a Boy Scout troop.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

On this day in 1805, Bounty Captain William Bligh safely reached an island after the mutiny… Swashbuckler Trivia: The greatest expense a pirate has is dry cleaning from having a parrot on his shoulder.

On this day in 1951, the US Census Bureau unveiled Univac 1, the world’s 1st commercial computer… It was surprisingly simple, because it wasn’t pre-loaded with Vista.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

On this day in 1898, the Yukon Territory entered the Canadian Confederation… To realize how remote it was at that time, imagine a place where pizza delivery was 30 weeks or free.

This day in 1947 marked the 1st night baseball game at Fenway Park… Batters claimed that the “green monster” in left field was even scarier at night.

On this day in 1981, Tom Snyder interviewed Charles Manson… Applying Manson’s makeup was tough. Usually Tom’s guests didn’t have tattoos of Swastikas on their face.

Friday, June 12, 2009

On this day in 1924, President George Herbert Walker Bush turns 83. He was shot down in a WW II fighter plane… Coincidentally, some say former President Clinton was also shot down… On Air Force One, by a flight attendant.

On this day in 1964, Nelson Mandela was imprisoned. Decades later, he was released in good health… But when he got home, his plants were dead.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

On this day in 1987, Margaret Thatcher became the first British PM in 160 years to win three consecutive terms… How tough was she? In her prime, she could bench press Janet Reno.

On this day in 1990, the US Supreme Court struck down an anti-flag burning law… This meant that in many public places, you could light up a flag… But not a cigarette.

On this day in 1939, the King & Queen of England tasted their 1st hot dogs at FDR’s party… There was a little confusion over which fork to use.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

On this day in 1922, Judy Garland was born. She played “Dorothy” in The Wizard of Oz, helping her friends look for a heart, a brain and courage… Some say the role was loosely based on a political advisor.

On this day in 1921, Prince Philip was born… His official royal duty was to hold the queen’s purse if she ever began waving with both hands.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

On this day in 1898, Britain leased Hong Kong for 99 years… That didn’t include furniture.

On this day in 1944, a record litter of 23 puppies was born to a foxhound in Ambler, Pennsylvania… They say that it was the first time that a mother dog chose to bottle feed.

Monday, June 8, 2009

On this day in 1948, Milton Berle’s Texaco Star Theater was first broadcast… Some say that was the golden age of television… When the only commercials that mentioned absorbency were for paper towels.

On this day in 1933, Joan Rivers was born… At the height of her jewelry business, she moved more rhinestones than the chorus line at Caesar’s Palace.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

On this day in 1955, Eisenhower became the 1st US President to appear on colour TV… If we saw President Clinton in black & white, it would be tough to tell the lipstick from the BBQ sauce.

On this day in 1940, Tom Jones was born… As his female fans aged, they were less likely to throw their underwear at him… In case they felt a cold draft.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

On this day in 1844, The Factory Act in Britain restricted children workers between the ages of 8 and 13 to 6 ½ hours of labour… Today parents try to restrict kids to 6 ½ hours of television.

On this day in 1933, the 1st drive-in movie theatre opened in Camden, New Jersey… They say people on horseback clipped the speakers to the horse’s blinders.

Friday, June 5, 2009

On this day in 1977, the 1st personal computer, the Apple II went on sale… Back then the only laptop was an Etch A Sketch.

On this day in 1989, Toronto’s Skydome with its retractable roof opened as the Brewers beat the Blue Jays 5-3… This was the city’s first topless entertainment for the whole family.

On this day in 1876, bananas became popular in the US at the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia… Causing the ice cream novelty the “turnip split” to become obsolete.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

On this day in 1910, Christopher Cockerell, inventor of the hovercraft was born… Some say he got the idea while observing how far politicians went just by blowing air.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer was born on this day in 1928. She wrote the book “Sex For Dummies”Trivia: Most people buying the book claim it’s a gift.

On this day in 1924, Dennis Weaver was born. In the seventies he played McCloud, the cop on horseback, years before NYPD BlueBack then, the only backside you’d see on a cop show was the horse’s.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

On this day in 1988, Margo Adams sued Red Sox 3rd baseman Wade Boggs for palimony… Margo claimed he’d been considerably farther than 3rd base.

On this day in 1964, Ringo Starr collapsed from tonsillitis… Ringo was quite upset, till he heard he could have all the ice cream he wanted!

Tony Curtis was born on this day in 1925. He once said that kissing Marilyn Monroe was like kissing Hitler… Although he did concede that she looked much better in a cocktail dress.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

On this day in 1953, the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II took place in Westminster Abbey… Royal Trivia: Apparently, the crown is dishwasher-safe.

On this day in 1851, the 1st US alcohol prohibition law was enacted in Maine… Ted Kennedy thinks of that as “Black Monday.”

On this day in 1903, Johnny Weissmuller was born. He was the swimmer and actor who played Tarzan, an inarticulate tree-hugging individual… Republicans would describe him as “Al Gore in a thong.”

Monday, June 1, 2009

On this day in 1990, the US and the Soviet Union agreed to stop producing chemical weapons… Sadly, aging actresses continued to market perfume.

On this day in 1947, Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood was born… Keith Richards has planned an all-out bash… Because it’s Monday. Keith will be really pumped when he hears that it’s Ronnie’s birthday, too.

On this day in 1958, Iceland extended its fishery limits to 12 miles, which didn’t affect fishing from shore… Unless someone had a really good casting arm.