Wednesday, September 30, 2009

On this day in 1902, an artificial silk called Rayon was patented… For the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy cast, this is a bigger celebration than Mardi Gras.

On this day in 1977, Ringo Starr released his Ringo The 4th album. Earlier, Beatles fans were shocked to hear that Ringo didn’t do all the drumming on the Beatles’ albums… Some say Ringo was shocked himself.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

On this day in 1963, The Rolling Stones 1st toured, opening for Bo Diddley and The Everly Brothers… They say Mick remembers it like it was yesterday, while technically for Keith, it’s a flashback.

On this day in 1979, gold hit a record $400.20 an ounce in Hong Kong… Causing many women to question whether diamonds were a girl’s best friend after all.

On this day in 1950, the 1st automatic answering machine was tested by the Bell Telephone company… But they couldn’t actually play “phone tag” till they came up with another one.

Monday, September 28, 2009

On this day in 1967, Frank Zappa’s daughter, Moon Unit was born… Some say the moral of this story is “never buy a book of baby names at a Star Trek convention.”

On this day in 1867, Toronto became the capital of Ontario. In the 1990s a court ruling made it legal for women on Toronto beaches to go topless… Which greatly increased the chance of beach volleyball becoming a spectator sport.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

On this day in 1968, the British cast of Hair 1st performed a scene in the nude… That meant less work for the wardrobe department and more work for the makeup people.

On this day in 1947, the singer Meatloaf was born… By the way, any meatloaf in your refrigerator that’s over 60 should be thrown out.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

On this day in 1820, Daniel Boone died. He pioneered the popular use of the raccoon skin hat… Some say it was a forerunner to the toupee.

On this day in 1962, The Beverly Hillbillies premiered on TV… Decades later, the reruns were confused with Ross Perot’s presidential campaign.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

On this day in 1949, Bruce Springsteen was born. He was known as “The Boss”… Then later, he married.

On this day in 1969, the rumour began that Paul McCartney was dead… Some feel Barbara Walters should do an hour long interview about the phenomenon… With Elvis.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

On this day in 1951 ex-Deep Purple and Whitesnake singer David Coverdale was born… Apparently, putting classic rock star ages into our perspective can be achieved with the old “7 to 1 dog years” formula.

On this day in 1927, former L.A. Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda was born… They say when he retired, he had a sunken living room added to his house to deal with “dugout withdrawal.”

Monday, September 21, 2009

On this day in 1929, the 1st legal forward pass in Canadian senior football was thrown in Calgary… Remarkably, it didn’t involve a cheerleader.

On this day in 1947 Stephen King was born… It’s rumoured he’ll celebrate with a good old fashioned game of pin-the-tail on the donkey… Using a nail gun.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

On this day in 1966, the ocean liner Queen Elizabeth II was launched from Scotland… It was later retired when it was thought to be too old, too large and just plain slow… Some would say much like the Royal Family.

On this day in 1972, police found marijuana growing on Paul McCartney’s farm… Coincidentally, that was over a year before he released Let Me Roll It.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

On this day in 1959, Nikita Krushchev was denied access to Disneyland… Apparently, Uncle Sam didn’t want the Russians stealing that “mechanical singing bear” technology.

On this day in 1960, a new dance craze began with Chubby Checker’s The Twist… Some felt the Surgeon General should have determined that it could make your shorts bunch up.

On this day in 1949, the superstar model Twiggy was born, weighing 6 lbs, 4 oz… Some say that was her professional modeling weight, too.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

On this day in 1948, comic actor John Ritter was born. He became famous as Jack Tripper on Three’s Company as a man awkwardly caught between a blonde and brunette… Not to be confused with Bill, Hilary and Monica.

On this day in 1931, long playing records were demonstrated in New York… They say the idea was instantly accepted by DJs at studios with the washroom on a different floor.

On this day in 1967, Mission Impossible premiered on TV… It probably became a favourite of the Nixon administration, considering how the tape could actually self-destruct.

Monday, September 14, 2009

On this day in 1990, gene therapy began at a national health institute in Maryland… Not to be confused with the other kind of jean therapy required to get the cast of The O C into their wardrobe.

On this day in 1849, Psychologist Ivan Pavlov was born. He studied conditioned response, training a dog to salivate at the sound of a bell… If you did that today and got stuck at a railway crossing with the dog in the car, you’d need a tissue.

On this day in 1972, The Waltons premiered on TV… The Waltons had so many children, the last 3 pages of script were just family members saying goodnight to each other.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

On this day in 1961, Car 54 Where Are You? premiered on TV… More recently, Jay Leno asked that when his assistant misplaced one of his Jaguars.

On this day in 1955, Little Richard recorded a sanitized version of Tutti Frutti. He led a wild life, then became a minister… Sort of the opposite of Jim Bakker and Billy Swaggart.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

On this day in 1992, Anthony Perkins died. He’s famous for his portrayal of Norman Bates, who dressed up like his mother and murdered people… For those unfamiliar with the character, imagine a cross between Jack the Ripper and Dame Edna.

On this day in 1944, singer/songwriter Barry White was born… He cultivated a style which could be described as “Darth Vader in a cuddly mood.”

On this day in 1959, Bonanza premiered. The Ponderosa’s cook was named Hop Sing… Some fans had trouble imagining Hoss Cartwright maintaining his size on Chinese food.

Friday, September 11, 2009

On this day in 1987, four men were arrested for trying to steal a dolphin from a Marineland in England… Apparently they pleaded “dolphin friendly” and pitched the story as a film entitled Free Flipper.

On this day in 1987, actor Lorne Greene passed away at 72… They say because of his Alpo commercials, fans silently calculated his age in dog years.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

On this day in 1932, country singer Patsy Cline was born. She became very popular recording on vinyl… As opposed to Shania Twain who became very popular wearing vinyl.

On this day in 1847, the Mexican Battle of Molino del Ray began… Not to be confused with the Battle of Marina del Ray that occurs if someone reaches for Jimmy Buffet’s margarita.

Monday, September 7, 2009

On this day in 1978, The Who’s drummer Keith Moon died. He was notorious for trashing hotel rooms… They say on his pillow, instead of a mint, hotel maids would leave a horse tranquilizer.

On this day in 1901, a peace treaty was signed, ending the Boxer Rebellion in China… You may be rusty on your world history if you thought the Boxer Rebellion had something to do with Fruit of The Loom.

On this day in 1988, The New York Times reported that Mike Tyson was seeing a psychiatrist… We can only speculate that getting in touch with your inner child may be easier if your voice hasn’t changed.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

On this day in 1966, Star Trek premiered on NBC… They say many viewers spent most of the first episode with the vertical control, trying to get Mr. Spock’s ears to look normal.

On this day in 1989, due to a computer error 41,000 Paris civilians mistakenly received letters charging them with murder, extortion and prostitution. They were only guilty of traffic violations… Some say in New York City a similar mistake was made charging traffic violations instead of murder, extortion and prostitution.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

On this day in 1940, Raquel Welch was born… In her early film career, she may have had small roles… But no small parts.

On this day in 1929, Bob Newhart was born. In his TV series set in Vermont, he had a neighbour named Larry with two brothers named Darryl… If the show was in production now, Larry just might have two sisters named Paris and Britney.

Friday, September 4, 2009

On this day in 1940, CBS gave a demonstration of colour TV… Then NBC wanted colour too, so their peacock wouldn’t look like a pigeon on steroids.

On this day in 1950, a man in Nova Scotia caught a 997 lb tuna… Of course, he told his buddies it was 1,200 lbs.

On this day in 1781, Los Angeles was founded by 44 settlers… Somehow it’s tough to imagine a settler saying “Wagons ho, dude.”

Thursday, September 3, 2009

On this day in 1752, England adopted the Gregorian Calendar, which excluded that date and the next 10, causing citizens to riot in the belief that the government stole 11 days of their lives… Which was silly – Doesn’t everyone know the government is only interested in our money?

On this day in 1930, the 1st non-stop flight from Paris to New York was made… Amazingly, the luggage arrived in New York as well!

On this day in 1984, a 28-year-old Chicagoan won $40 million in the Illinois state lottery… When you’re that rich, you can hire somebody to clip your coupons.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

On this day in 1901, VP Theodore Roosevelt advised to “speak softly and carry a big stick”… Which is excellent advice for designated hitters who want to broadcast when they retire.

On this day in 1945, Japan formally surrendered, deciding not to try to bomb America… Which would have alienated their future market for transistor radios and compact cars.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

On this day in 1963, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Curt Simmons stole home plate, which is the most exciting thing about baseball for the spectators… For the players, the most exciting thing is depositing their cheques.

On this day in 1890, Boston and Pittsburgh played baseball’s 1st triple header. It was so long… A family of 4 could go to the park and leave as a family of 5.

Today is Labour Day. It’s considered inappropriate to wear white after today… For Britney, it would be inappropriate to wear white the next time she gets married.