Monday, November 30, 2009
On this day in 1948, baseball’s Negro National League disbanded… And suddenly, a lot of complacent big league white guys were taking extra batting practice.
On this day in 1835, Samuel Clemens was born. He later used the pen name Mark Twain, which is a river term meaning “12 feet of water depth”… By the way, apparently the name Shania Twain means “tight jeans.”
Sunday, November 29, 2009
On this day in 1925, Howie Mandel was forn. He became known for pulling a rubber glove over his head and inflating it with his nostrils… That could be a sobriety test for spring break.
On this day in 1877, Thomas Edison demonstrated his hand-cranked phonograph… They say the cool thing was that with a little elbow grease, you could turn a waltz into a polka.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
On this day in 1949, musical entertainer Paul Shaffer was born… Over the years on TV with David Letterman, Paul’s hairline not only receded… It left no forwarding address.
On this day in 1989, Rickey Henderson signed a record $3 million per year deal with the Oakland A’s… Some say that made him the highest paid ballpark hotdog ever.
Friday, November 27, 2009
On this day in 1970, The Gay Liberation Front held its 1st demonstration in London, England… Giving a whole new interpretation to God Save The Queen.
On this day in 1942, Jimi Hendrix was born. He had the ability to play guitar both left and right-handed… Sort of like how a politician can speak out of both sides of his face.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
On this day in 1939, singer Tina Turner was born… If you’re not familiar with Ms. Turner’s stage performance, just imagine Aretha Franklin strapped to a paint shaker.
On this day in 1789, Americans celebrated Thanksgiving for the 1st time… It was so primitive, there was no football.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
On this day in 1914, Joe DiMaggio was born… Considering that he was married to Marilyn Monroe, it’s tough to imagine that the highlight of his life had anything to do with scoring at baseball.
On this day in 1920, Ricardo Montalban was born. He’s most famous for fulfilling fantasies on the TV show Fantasy Island… Not to be confused with Heidi Fleiss.
Monday, November 23, 2009
On this day in 1888, Harpo Marx was born. He was about as famous as Groucho, yet he barely talked… You might say that he was a forerunner to Vanna White.
On this day in 1921, President Harding eliminated a loophole in prohibition by banning doctors from prescribing beer… If you needed a prescription to buy beer, can you imagine all the paperwork that would be required for spring break?
Saturday, November 21, 2009
On this day in 1937 Marlo Thomas was born... During her marriage, she spent more time watching Donahue than any other woman… Because she was married to him.
On this day in 1959, Jack Benny played violin in a duet with Richard Nixon on piano… That would have been a few minutes of blank tape that music critics would have welcomed.
Friday, November 20, 2009
On this day in 1947, rock’n’roll guitarist Joe Walsh was born… He likes to party… They say in high school his essay entitled “My School Trip” involved his leaf collection... That was hidden in his sock drawer.
On this day in 1956, Bo Derek was born. She played the blonde beauty in 10… If you can’t picture her, just imagine Farrah Fawcett with her hair done up in macramé.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
On this day in 1928, the 1st sound cartoon, Steamboat Willie, starring Mickey Mouse was screened in the US… Basically, it sounded like a Mike Tyson interview.
On this day in 1883, standard time zones were established in the US and Canada… Years later, in the more backward areas, TV announcers still say “It’s 10:30 – Do you know what number the big hand’s on?”
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
On this day in 1944, actor/director Danny Devito was born… They say the sad thing about being his height is that even if he found a suit he could wear “off the rack”… He couldn’t reach it.
On this day in 1970, Stephanie Rahn became the British Sun newspaper’s 1st Page Three girl – A spot devoted to the upper portion of the female figure… It was rumoured that they wanted to start with Dolly Parton, but they didn’t want to give up page four, too.
Monday, November 16, 2009
On this day in 1959, The Sound of Music opened on Broadway… It’s rumoured that Gwen Stefani wants to appear in a revival… If only to write off her leather shorts.
On this day in 1908, Burgess Meredith was born. He was Sylvester Stallone’s relentless mentor in Rocky… His boxing trainer as opposed to his dialogue coach.
Friday, November 13, 2009
On this day in 1914, Mary Phelps Jacob patented the “backless brassiere”… Not to be confused with Madonna’s “frontless brassiere.”
On this day in 1907, the 1st helicopter rose 6 ½ feet above ground in Normandy… Early critics of the new aviation technology pointed out that you could get the same effect with a ladder.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
On this day in 1962, Demi Moore was born… They say she’s been naked in magazines so often, at one point her doctor could do her physical exam with a subscription to Vanity Fair.
General George Patton was born on this day in 1885. He was known as Old Blood and Guts… If you’re not familiar with his personality, just imagine Janet Reno with 5 stars.
Monday, November 9, 2009
On this day in 1938, Lil’Abner cartoonist Al Capp created Sadie Hawkins Day, a day when women become aggressive about dating… For Madonna, every day was Sadie Hawkins day.
On this day in 1989, the Berlin Wall was opened… Making just about everything Bob Villa did look small by comparison.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
On this day in 1950, Entertainment Tonight personality Mary Hart was born. One woman claimed that Mary’s voice caused her mental disorder… While many men seem to have been driven crazy by her legs.
On this day in 1952, Hugh Hefner’s daughter, Christie Hefner was born… It must have been weird being a toddler at the Playboy Mansion… Particularly during the stage of breastfeeding.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
On this day in 1885, the coast-to-coast Canadian Pacific Railway was completed… At various times since, depending on the Quebec separatist movement, a subway between Ontario and New Brunswick would have been appropriate.
On this day in 1988, Sugar Ray Leonard knocked out Canadian Donny Lalonde, completing his collection of world titles at 5 different weight categories… Coincidentally, some say if George Foreman keeps cooking on his grill, he’ll qualify for 5 different weight categories combined.
Friday, November 6, 2009
On this day in 1975, punk rockers The Sex Pistols had the plug pulled on them only 10 minutes into their 1st performance… That’s before it was cool to be “unplugged.”
On this day in 1867, the 1st Canadian Parliament met, proving Canucks with opposing goals could interact in a civilized manner… Unless they were holding hockey sticks.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
On this day in 1952 comedienne Roseanne was born… If you’d like to send something, she’s registered at Domino’s.
On this day in 1900, the 1st national car show opened at Madison Square Garden… Back then the option of starting your car from outside the vehicle required a crank.
Monday, November 2, 2009
On this day in 1990, Ivana Trump filed for divorce from Donald, saying it had nothing to do with his financial problems… But obviously, candlelit dinners are more romantic before the electricity’s been cut off.
On this day in 1961, singer K.D. Lang was born. She angered cattle farmers by speaking out against red meat… Shania Twain could have said the same thing, and 4 out of 5 cowboys wouldn’t have noticed.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
On this day in 1992, Bill Clinton was elected president… For some, it was the 1st time that they heard Hail To The Chief played on a banjo.
On this day in 1959, Jacques Plante became the 1st NHL goalie to wear a mask… Decades later a goalie mask was worn by the killer from Friday The 13th… Which was only slightly more violent than the NHL today.
