Friday, January 1, 2010

On this day in 1895, J. Edgar Hoover was born… Some feel Victoria’s Secret should celebrate with a blowout on teddies.

On this day in 1735, Paul Revere was born. He announced the British invasion… At the time, he was sort of a cross between Davey Crockett and Ed Sullivan.

On this day in 1922, motorists in Vancouver, BC started driving on the right side of the road… As opposed to Montreal, PQ where they drive all over the road.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Guess Who’s lead singer Burton Cummings was born on this day in 1947. He sang American Woman at the Whitehouse for President Nixon… For President Clinton he probably would have sung Go Away Little Girl.

On this day in 1961, The Beach Boys 1st performed surf music… Some say this prompted confused Cleveland residents to show up on the beaches of Lake Erie with ironing boards.

Wedenesday, December 30, 2009

On this day in 1914, former Miss America Pageant MC Bert Parks was born… Some fans think the pageant should borrow an idea from the World Series and interview competitors in their dressing rooms.

On this day in 1928, Bo Diddley was born. He was always fairly laid back for a rock’n’roll star… Which means he didn’t shoot his TVs, burn his guitars, or marry his cousins.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

On this day in 1852, Emma Snodgrass was arrested in Boston for wearing pants… Lately Britney Spears was nearly arrested for not wearing pants.

On this day in 1947, Ted Danson was born. He starred in Three Men And A BabyHe’d like to do a sequel with Jennifer Garner called Three Men And A Babe.

Monday, December 28, 2009

On this day in 1968 The Beatles’ White Album began its 9 week stint at #1… They say the album had a tremendous influence on Michael Jackson.

On this day in 18832, John Calhoun became the 1st US Vice President to resign… Democrats wished Dick Cheney would have payed tribute by following suit.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

On this day in 1904, Peter Pan premiered in London… Those unfamiliar with the character should imagine Ricky Martin in a Robin Hood costume.

On this day in 1947, the 1st Howdy Doody Show was telecast… Some say it was a forerunner to presidential campaign spots.

Monday, December 21, 2009

On this day in 1937, Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs premiered… Some say that was also the working title for Michael Jackson’s honeymoon video.

On this day in 1991, Jane Fonda married Ted Turner. Both had been married three times… So some thought Ted should colourize Jane’s wedding dress to something off-white.

On this day in 1620, the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock… Carrying America’s 1st “foreigners.”

Sunday, December 20, 2009

On this day in 1962, The Osmond Brothers debuted on The Andy Williams ShowBack then, Donny’s harmonies could only be heard by dogs.

On this day in 1803, the US bought Louisiana from France… Some say England could have learned a lesson there… If you’re about to lose a territory anyway, why not sell it?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

On this day in 1917, the 1st NHL game on artificial ice was played in Toronto… Not to be confused with some of the artificial hockey that’s been played there in recent decades.

On this day in 1904, the Dawson City hockey team started walking from the Yukon toward Seattle to catch a train to Ottawa to play for the Stanley Cup on January 13, 1905… Suddenly, Winnipeg doesn’t seem so remote.

Friday, December 18, 2009

On this day in 1950, accomplished film critic Leonard Maltin was born… Some say Leonard became so knowledgeable about movies because he never actually had a date for one.

On this day in 1943, Keith Richards was born… He’s very health conscious… He starts every day with orange juice… Low pulp, so it doesn’t clog the I.V. tube…

On this day in 1947, Steven Spielberg was born. After seeing his movie Jaws, we were afraid to go into the water… Lately, after seeing the price of popcorn and soda, we’re afraid to go into the theatre.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

On this day in 1903, the Wright Brothers made the 1st powered flight, which was 850 feet… Back then there were no Frequent Flyer Feet.

On this day in 1760, Deborah Sampson was born. She fought in the American Revolutionary War as a man under the alias Robert Shurtleff… Now there’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

On this day in 37 AD, the 5th Roman emperor Nero was born. He didn’t really play the fiddle while Rome burned… And the devil didn’t actually go down to Georgia, either.

On this day in 1922, Alan Freed was born. He was a DJ who accepted payola to play records. He missed his calling… He should have been in politics.

Monday, December 14, 2009

On this day in 1503, Nostradamus was born. He could predict future historical events… Most of us can only predict what will happen at the end of Desperate Housewives.

On this day in 1911, a Norwegian named Roald Amundsen led the 1st expedition to reach the South Pole… It’s rumoured that he was also the 1st to use a poodle in a dog sled team… As a horn.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

On this day in 1925, Dick Van Dyke was born… Some fans looking back at his show with Mary Tyler Moore have to suspend their disbelief that his character was content with twin beds.

On this day in 1903, Italo Marcioni patented the ice cream cone… It was rumoured that the patent was nearly infringed upon by the makers of Madonna’s bras.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

On this day in 1955, Bill Haley and The Comets recorded See You Later, Alligator in New York… Today’s translation of that would be “Later, dude.”

On this day in 1989, the tax evading hotel mogul Leona Helmsley was fined $7 million and sentenced to four years in prison… Now there’s a confirmed reservation.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

On this day in 1976, Paul McCartney released Wings Over AmericaCoincidentally, that was Bill Clinton’s favourite snack while traveling in Air Force One.

On this day in 1952, Susan Dey was born… Baby boomers may feel old imagining TV’s Laurie Partridge having a “hot flash.”

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

On this day in 1985, Phoenix, Arizona got 3 inches of snow. It was dangerous because people there don’t know how to drive in snow… As opposed to New York City, where they don’t know how to drive.

On this day in 1928, Dick Van Patten was born. He starred in the comedy drama Eight Is EnoughNot to be confused with the documentary of Liz Taylor’s marriages.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

On this day in 1947, Gregg Allman was born… And there’s no truth to the rumour that much of his aging occurred during his 10 day marriage to Cher.

On this day in 1925, Sammy Davis Jr. was born. He was considered by many to be the greatest entertainer of his time… In addition, he had the good taste to not do a talk show.

Monday, December 7, 2009

On this day in 1968, Richard Dodd returned a library book his great grandfather took out in 1823… Some say the overdue fine exceeded his inheritance.

On this day in 1761, wax museum founder Marie Tussaud was born. She assembled a gathering of artificial figures for display only… Not to be confused with congress.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

On this day in 1877, Thomas Edison demonstrated the 1st phonograph with a recitation of Mary Had A Little LambThis was a particularly unusual choice even considering this was a century before the “All Rock, No Talk” format.

On this day in 1969, 300,000 attended a Rolling Stones concert in Altamont, California… Some say that night, there were more voices in the crowd than in Keith’s head.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

On this day in 1908, the 1st American football game in which players were numbered was played in Pittsburgh… Some players felt this should have entitled them to a math credit.

On this day in 1970, the Stanley Cup was stolen from the NHL Hall of Fame… If that happened today, investigators would most likely question Toronto Maple Leaf fans.

Friday, December 4, 2009

On this day in 1976, Liz Taylor was married for the 7th time… Some say that’s not marriage… That’s timeshare.

On this day in 1872, the American ship The Mary Celeste was found with her crew mysteriously missing… Much like the Ottawa Senators in the playoffs.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

On this day in 1967, Dr. Christian Barnard performed the 1st successful heart transplant… Some say the best heart donors would be divorce lawyers… Because they never use theirs.

On this day in 1948, Ozzy Osbourne was born… They say his unfortunate habit of biting various animals goes back to Kindergarten… When he forgot his lunch on “pet day.”

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

On this day in 1927, the 1st Model A Ford sold for $385… You can probably still get one in that price range… From The Franklin Mint.

On this day in 1906, Peter Carl Goldmark was born. He invented the LP record, a concept which helped most recording artists… They say even though Britney Spears sells most of her music digitally, her Greatest Hits would have fit on a 45 RPM single.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

On this day in 1990, the French and English tunnel construction crews met under the English Channel… And some say that from force of habit, the French almost surrendered.

On this day in 1953, the 1st issue of Playboy was published… It was generally educational to young men, except for convincing some of them that the female anatomy included staples.