Thursday, November 11, 2010

Today we remember Canada's men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.

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On this day in 1962 Demi Moore was born… They say she’s been naked in magazines so often, at one point her doctor could do her physical exam with a subscription to Vanity Fair.

General George Patton was born on this day in 1885. He was known as Old Blood and Guts… If you’re not familiar with his personality, just imagine Janet Reno with 5 stars.


Directed by Jerry Seinfeld


Comically channeling the demise of great world empires, Colin Quinn uses his “articulate brand of comedy” in taking audiences through an uproarious history of the world in 75 minutes. From his personification of Caesar as the original Italian mobster to his complaints about Ancient Greece and Antigone giving way to Costco and Snooki, Quinn is at his satirical best, taking on the attitudes, appetites and bad habits that toppled the world’s most powerful nations. Colin Quinn Long Story Short proves that throughout human history, the joke has always been on us.

Begins October 22nd at THE HELEN HAYES THEATRE – 240 West 44th St. (Between 7th and 8th)
For more information, visit
“IMMORTAL. Quinn’s funniest material is casual, offbeat commentary of intensity and complexity in the skeptical,
confiding style of the wiseacre.” - The New York Times

“HISTORICAL AND HYSTERICAL. While he dutifully traces his saga from the caveman era to the present, Quinn happens to be very, very funny. Clearly benefited from Seinfeld’s influence, with tight pacing and a procession of hilarious one-liners.”
- New York Post

“A CLEVER and informative look at many past civilizations. Astute and often hilarious.
Long Story Short is a tale worth attending.” - TheaterMania
“Clever. INSPIRED. Hilarious. GENIUS.” - Variety

Three Easy Ways to Save on tickets to Colin Quinn Long Story Short:
TICKETS $74 (reg. $98) TICKETS $49 (reg. $59)

Click Here or Visit and use code CQHHC74
2. CALL 212.947.8844 and mention code CQHHC74
3. VISIT the Helen Hayes Theatre Box Office at 240 West 44th Street with a printout of this offer. Box office opens October 11th.

*This offer is valid through 11/21/10 and is subject to availability. Must purchase by 11/7/10. Not valid on prior purchase. Offer cannot be combined with other discounts of promotions; blackout dates and restrictions may apply. Limit eight (8) tickets per order. No refunds or exchanges. Offer does not include seats in the first 12 rows center. Offer may be revoked at any time. All discounts include 1.50 facility fee.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

On this day in 1938, Lil’Abner cartoonist Al Capp created Sadie Hawkins Day, a day when women become aggressive about dating… For Madonna, every day was Sadie Hawkins day.

On this day in 1989, the Berlin Wall was opened… Making just about everything Bob Villa did look small by comparison.

Monday, November 8, 2010

On this day in 1950, Entertainment Tonight personality Mary Hart was born. One woman claimed that Mary’s voice caused her mental disorder… While many man seem to have been driven crazy by her legs.

On this day in 1952 Hugh Hefner’s daughter, Christie Hefner was born… It must have been weird being a toddler at the Playboy Mansion… Particularly during the stage of breastfeeding.

Friday, November 5, 2010

On this day in 1919, romantic screen lover Rudolph Valentino was married. It lasted six hours… So looking back, Lyle Lovett didn’t do so bad with Julia Roberts.

On this day in 1968, Richard Nixon was elected president. He appeared on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-InPerhaps an appropriate show for the current US president would be Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

On this day in 1980, Ronald Reagan began the 1st of his 2 terms as president… Democrats called it his longest running acting job ever.

On this day in 1924, California legalized professional boxing… That’s “pro” boxing, as opposed to the kind Mike Tyson’s know for.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

On this day in 1952, comedienne Roseanne was born… If you’d like to send something, she’s registered at Domino’s.

On this day in 1900, the 1st national car show opened at Madison Square Garden… Back then the option of starting your car from outside the vehicle required a crank.

Saturday, October 27, 2010

On this day in 1970, The Gay Liberation Front held its 1st demonstration in London, England… Giving a whole new interpretation to God Save The Queen.

On this day in 1942, Jimi Hendrix was born. He had the ability to play guitar both left and right-handed… Sort of like how a politician can speak out of both sides of his face.

Friday, October 26, 2010

On this day in 1939, singer Tina Turner was born… If you’re not familiar with Ms. Turner’s stage performance, just imagine Aretha Franklin strapped to a paint shaker.

On this day in 1789, Americans celebrated Thanksgiving for the 1st time… It was so primitive, there was no football.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

On this day in 1914, Joe DiMaggio was born… Considering that he was married to Marilyn Monroe, it’s tough to imagine that the highlight of his life had anything to do with scoring at baseball.

On this day in 1920, Ricardo Montalban was born. He’s most famous for fulfilling fantasies on the TV show Fantasy Island… Not to be confused with Heidi Fleiss.