Thursday, November 11, 2010
Today we remember Canada's men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.
LEST WE FORGET
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On this day in 1962 Demi Moore was born… They say she’s been naked in magazines so often, at one point her doctor could do her physical exam with a subscription to Vanity Fair.
General George Patton was born on this day in 1885. He was known as Old Blood and Guts… If you’re not familiar with his personality, just imagine Janet Reno with 5 stars.
DON’T MISS OUT ON A COMEDIC NIGHT
OF HISTORICAL PROPORTIONS!
Directed by Jerry Seinfeld
HISTORY OF THE WORLDIN 75 MINUTES.
Comically channeling the demise of great world empires, Colin Quinn uses his “articulate brand of comedy” in taking audiences through an uproarious history of the world in 75 minutes. From his personification of Caesar as the original Italian mobster to his complaints about Ancient Greece and Antigone giving way to Costco and Snooki, Quinn is at his satirical best, taking on the attitudes, appetites and bad habits that toppled the world’s most powerful nations. Colin Quinn Long Story Short proves that throughout human history, the joke has always been on us.
Begins October 22nd at THE HELEN HAYES THEATRE – 240 West 44th St. (Between 7th and 8th)
For more information, visit www.ColinQuinn.com
“IMMORTAL. Quinn’s funniest material is casual, offbeat commentary of intensity and complexity in the skeptical,
confiding style of the wiseacre.” - The New York Times
“HISTORICAL AND HYSTERICAL. While he dutifully traces his saga from the caveman era to the present, Quinn happens to be very, very funny. Clearly benefited from Seinfeld’s influence, with tight pacing and a procession of hilarious one-liners.”
- New York Post
“A CLEVER and informative look at many past civilizations. Astute and often hilarious.
Long Story Short is a tale worth attending.” - TheaterMania
“Clever. INSPIRED. Hilarious. GENIUS.” - Variety
Three Easy Ways to Save on tickets to Colin Quinn Long Story Short:
TICKETS $74 (reg. $98) TICKETS $49 (reg. $59)
1. Click Here or Visit BroadwayOffers.com and use code CQHHC74
2. CALL 212.947.8844 and mention code CQHHC74
3. VISIT the Helen Hayes Theatre Box Office at 240 West 44th Street with a printout of this offer. Box office opens October 11th.
*This offer is valid through 11/21/10 and is subject to availability. Must purchase by 11/7/10. Not valid on prior purchase. Offer cannot be combined with other discounts of promotions; blackout dates and restrictions may apply. Limit eight (8) tickets per order. No refunds or exchanges. Offer does not include seats in the first 12 rows center. Offer may be revoked at any time. All discounts include 1.50 facility fee.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
On this day in 1938, Lil’Abner cartoonist Al Capp created Sadie Hawkins Day, a day when women become aggressive about dating… For Madonna, every day was Sadie Hawkins day.
On this day in 1989, the Berlin Wall was opened… Making just about everything Bob Villa did look small by comparison.
Monday, November 8, 2010
On this day in 1950, Entertainment Tonight personality Mary Hart was born. One woman claimed that Mary’s voice caused her mental disorder… While many man seem to have been driven crazy by her legs.
On this day in 1952 Hugh Hefner’s daughter, Christie Hefner was born… It must have been weird being a toddler at the Playboy Mansion… Particularly during the stage of breastfeeding.
Friday, November 5, 2010
On this day in 1919, romantic screen lover Rudolph Valentino was married. It lasted six hours… So looking back, Lyle Lovett didn’t do so bad with Julia Roberts.
On this day in 1968, Richard Nixon was elected president. He appeared on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In… Perhaps an appropriate show for the current US president would be Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
On this day in 1952, comedienne Roseanne was born… If you’d like to send something, she’s registered at Domino’s.
On this day in 1900, the 1st national car show opened at Madison Square Garden… Back then the option of starting your car from outside the vehicle required a crank.
Saturday, October 27, 2010
On this day in 1970, The Gay Liberation Front held its 1st demonstration in London, England… Giving a whole new interpretation to God Save The Queen.
On this day in 1942, Jimi Hendrix was born. He had the ability to play guitar both left and right-handed… Sort of like how a politician can speak out of both sides of his face.
Friday, October 26, 2010
On this day in 1939, singer Tina Turner was born… If you’re not familiar with Ms. Turner’s stage performance, just imagine Aretha Franklin strapped to a paint shaker.
On this day in 1789, Americans celebrated Thanksgiving for the 1st time… It was so primitive, there was no football.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
On this day in 1914, Joe DiMaggio was born… Considering that he was married to Marilyn Monroe, it’s tough to imagine that the highlight of his life had anything to do with scoring at baseball.
On this day in 1920, Ricardo Montalban was born. He’s most famous for fulfilling fantasies on the TV show Fantasy Island… Not to be confused with Heidi Fleiss.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
On this day in 1951 ex-Deep Purple and Whitesnake singer David Coverdale was born… Apparently, putting classic rock star ages into our perspective can be achieved with the old “7 to 1 dog years” formula.
On this day in 1927 former L.A. Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda was born… They say when he retired, he had a sunken living room added to his house to deal with “dugout withdrawal.”
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
On this day in 1929, the 1st legal forward pass in Canadian senior football was thrown in Calgary… Remarkably, it didn’t involve a cheerleader.
On this day in 1947 Stephen King was born… It’s rumoured he’ll celebrate with a good old fashioned game of pin-the-tail on the donkey… Using a nail gun.
Monday, September 20, 2010
On this day in 1966, the ocean liner Queen Elizabeth II was launched from Scotland… It was later retired when it was thought to be too old, too large and just plain slow… Some would say much like the Royal Family.
On this day in 1972, police found marijuana growing on Paul McCartney’s farm… Coincidentally, that was over a year before he released Let Me Roll It.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
On this day in 1965, The Beatles’ movie Help premiered, with Queen Elizabeth attending… They say that when Her Majesty went to buy Milk Duds, they stopped the projector.
On this day in 1981, a series of stamps was issued to commemorate the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Di. Most of them were collected and not actually posted… Apparently, folks are reluctant to lick anything with the likeness of Prince Charles.
On this day in 1981, the Prince of Wales married Lady Diana Spencer… They say when Lady Di recited her marriage vows, Prince Charles was all ears.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
On this day in 1858, fingerprints were 1st used as a means of identification… Some say it’s amazing that every fingerprint is different, while so many Bruce Willis movies are so similar.
On this day in 1933, the 1st singing telegram was delivered to Rudy Vallee in NYC… It’s rumored that in Las Vegas you can get a singing mammogram.
On this day in 1786, Sir Thomas Harriot brought the 1st potatoes to Britain… Without them, McDonalds employees would ask “Would you like napkins with that?”
Thursday, July 8, 2010
On this day in 1974, Yankee short stop Jim Mason tied a record with 4 doubles in 9 innings… Although some New York fans have surpassed that during happy hour.
On this day in 1816, the Liberty Bell cracked again… Some say the Avon lady was sought for questioning.
On this day in 1839, John D. Rockefeller was born… He was so rich and powerful, if he was overheard ordering Baked Alaska, it affected real estate prices.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
On this day in 1982, Queen Elizabeth woke to a strange man sitting on her bed who asked for a cigarette… Some say that used to happen to Madonna almost every day.
On this day in 1927, former Tonight Show bandleader Doc Severinsen was born… Doc’s jacket was louder than his trumpet… He was offended when Ed McMahon laughed at his jacket, till someone pointed out that Ed laughed at everything.
On this day in 1990, Martina Navratilova won a record 9th Wimbledon singles title… Trivia: If you could spell Martina Navratilova while playing Scrabble, you could coast for the rest of the game.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
On this day in 1963, President Kennedy visited west Berlin, declaring “Ich bin ein Berliner”… Around the same time, a young Bill Clinton started using the foreign phrase “Botta-bing, botta-boom.”
On this day in 1876, Sitting Bull won the Battle of the Little Bighorn, and then went to Canada… If it happened more recently, instead of Canada, he’d probably go to Disneyworld.
This day in 1974 marked Liz Taylor’s 5th divorce… Some say that Liz’s lawyer was one of the few to offer divorces in six packs.
